Putting the Self in Self-Care
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” — Audre Lorde
Many people in our culture associate the term self-care with selfishness, as if self-care is a luxury, a mere detour from the job of taking care of others. Taking care of others is, of course, one of the most noble forms of service. Too often though, we do so at the expense of ourselves. Only by focusing on enriching and fulfilling our own selves first will we have more to share with others. The gift of the energy you give will also be richer and more satisfying to the recipients. In this sense, self-care is not selfishness but rather it supports and strengthens our ability to serve others and our communities; our ability to be, in essence, more selfless.
We need to prioritize self-care to be our best selves. We also need to own the truth that we are the only ones who can truly prioritize it for us. Since so many of us push self-care off to the sidelines of our daily lives, the first step in practicing wellness is to actively claim our birthright to it. So how do we go about doing this in the most beneficial, all-encompassing manner? First it helps to broaden the definition of self-care beyond that of our physical needs such as exercise, weight management, grooming, and nutrition. Ideally, wellness includes not merely our physical health but our emotional, mental and spiritual health as well.
When creating or redesigning our wellness practice, it helps to break down our Self into three different parts: self-worth, self-esteem, and self-love. Having self-worth means valuing yourself, knowing you are of value in the world and to others. Self-esteem entails respecting yourself and building confidence in your capabilities. Self-love is the act of placing your own well-being and happiness in high regard. To practice wellness and receive the biggest benefits, it’s key to factor in what these three aspects of ourselves need to flourish.
While attending to the three forms of self, focus on answering this key question: “What is best for me so I can be of service?” Are you energized by nature? If so, carve out time to focus on the beauty of your surroundings. Is exercise fundamental to your well-being? Incorporate it into your daily life. Perhaps artistic endeavors such as writing, drawing, or making music are what replenish your soul. Nurture those talents by setting aside time for them. Whatever brings you joy and contentment will fill your cup. Once you fill your cup you will then create reserves to share with others.
Be aware that the mindset from which we begin our wellness journey is key to our success. If we start from a place of scarcity and/or judgement, such as “I eat too much sugar,” or “I’ve been sick so long that I don’t see how I can ever get better,” we’ll remain stuck. Also key is to do our practices regularly. This is why I use the word practice: it entails repetition and commitment.
Another component of a successful wellness practice is variety. If you already do some wellness exercises or activities, think about whether there’s something new or different you can do, or add, to mix things up. To keep the synapses in our brains growing and expanding, an inflexible, consistent routine won’t be as helpful as shaking things up. You can do this by changing up certain aspects of what you do, who you do it with, when, and where.
The good news is there are so many high vibrational activities you can do that put yourself first. Here’s a list:
- Gratitude practices
- Breathing practices
- Meditation/prayer
- Affirmations/mantras
- Singing/chanting
- Inspirational media
- Eating high vitality foods
- Time in nature
- Uplifting people
- Time with animals
- High vitality
- Supplements
- Journaling
- Dancing/movement
- Bodywork
- Contemplation practices
Feel free to contact me for communities, resources, tools or suggestions for any of the above activities. In my next post I’ll go into more detail about the activities themselves, what I refer to as “entrances to wellness.”
